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Only in My Dreams
By Mel Domingo
Disclaimer: Standard Disclaimer... Paramount owns all of Trek ( I bow down to their ever greatness) and I own this story.
***Author's Note: This story takes place right before the episode "Looking For Par'Mach in all the Wrong Places" . ***

| Part2| Part 3 | Part 4 |

- Warmth... Security... Love... Jadzia hadn’t felt this way in over a lifetime. She was in his arms. His strong yet gentle embrace kept away all of the troubles and worries in her life. She savored every minute of it, drinking in the scent of his skin. She turned to give her lover a kiss on the cheek but he vanished; no trace of what had been there only moments ago...-

Jadzia awoke, her eyes slowly fluttered open; her vision focused on the stars right outside the window. She slowly got out of bed and sat at the window sill, her eyes still focused on the stars outside. Her mind raced back to the dream. Who was this mysterious person who appeared in her dream? Who was this person who made her feel so loved, so wanted? She shook her head and retreated to the security and warmth of her covers. Who knows? Maybe she’d dream of this person again...

***

- Worf was walking down a corridor of the Defiant. It was late at night and he was on his way to his quarters to get some rest before his morning shift began. Right as he was about to enter his quarters, he heard someone running towards him, calling out his name. It was a female’s voice, very familiar. But, the voice seemed so far away that Worf couldn’t tell who it was. The voice came again, this time from right behind of Worf. A whisper entered his ear, “Worf, my blood sings for you.” Next thing Worf knew, a pair of arms were encircling his waist, attempting to hold him close. He turned to see who it was and in an instant, the person was gone...-

Worf awoke and sat straight up in bed. This was a pretty odd dream, especially for a Klingon, to have. He blinked his eyes attempting to shake off the disconcerting feeling that had washed over him. Who was this woman? She seemed so distant, yet so familiar. Worf knew her somehow, from somewhere. He just couldn’t put his finger on it. Worf leaned back onto the bed where sleep soon overcame him. As un-Klingon as it seemed, Worf hoped that he would dream of this mysterious person again.

***

The following morning, Jadzia and Worf ran into each other in the turbolift on their way to OPS. Worf turned to Jadzia to confront her for not meeting him for their usual raktajino and prune juice that morning.

“I believe you had inquired last night that I accompany you to breakfast. I was there, you were not.”

“I’m sorry Worf. I overslept this morning. I woke up in the middle of the night and I couldn’t really sleep after that,” Jadzia turned to take a quick glance at Worf, “Besides, you’re looking a little bleary-eyed yourself.”

Worf was surprised but not taken aback by Jadzia’s little observation. “I must work on my external appearance,” Worf made a mental note to himself. Then to Jadzia, “ I was in a similar predicament the previous night as well.”

The turbolift came to a halt and the doors slid open; the two officers went their separate ways to their posts.

***

Jadzia sat down at her post and stole a quick glance at Worf. There was something different about him this morning. No, it wasn’t him... It was herself. There was something different about how she felt about him. It was as if he was the one who held her in her dream. Jadzia shook her head and returned to her work. There was no way he’d feel that way about her. She just knew that all they could be was just friends, even though she wanted so much more...

***

Worf reached his post and turned his attention to the console. Suddenly, he felt as if two eyes were burning a hole straight through his head. Worf looked up in that direction and saw Jadzia. But, she wasn’t looking at him, she was busily tapping equations into her console. Worf sighed. How he felt that he’d never see such a beautiful sight. Yet, he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something different between him and Jadzia. He recalled the dream he had that night. Those arms... Worf thought to himself for a moment. No, that couldn’t have been her, not the beauty that only the great Kahless could have courted. She’d never feel for him the way he felt for her.

***

Jadzia quickly resisted the urge to take another look. But, her whole being was begging her to steal another look; to see what a glorious sight he was. She let go of all of her restraints and let her eyes slowly drift in his direction...

***

Worf desperately wanted to take another look. He wanted to see the beauty that the great Luchara couldn’t even be compared to. No, he must concentrate on his task; he must not let trivial matters compromise his performance. Yet, the urge was too difficult to resist. He let his eyes slowly drift in the direction of her science console...

***

At that moment, the two officers’ eyes met. Embarrassed at what had just happened, they quickly looked down at their consoles, as if it was all an accident. But, both knew otherwise. Both of their faces turned a slight red hue which quickly dissipated, worried that others may have seen what had just happened.

***

Later, in the evening, Jadzia stepped out of Quark’s into the promenade. She had just finished a mini-workout in the holosuite. She would’ve done it with Worf later that evening but because of what had happened that morning, she was a bit embarrassed and would have felt uncomfortable around him. Jadzia was absolutely sure that Worf felt the same way. The best thing to do, she thought, was to avoid each other for a while.

On her way to the turbolift, she passed the security office where Kira had just stepped out and was now running to catch up with Jadzia.

“Jadzia, wait up!” Kira ran up to Jadzia’s side and caught her breath, “I’ve been meaning to talk to you all day.”

“About what?”

“Well, I was wondering, is there anything going on between you and Worf?”

Bewildered at this question Jadzia asked, “ Why? What makes you think anything is going on?” Then it hit her. Kira was in OPS when she and Worf had shared that awkward moment. Hell, not only had she been in OPS, she was right smack dab in the middle of it all. The only thing she could do now was lie through her teeth and deny to her friend what was going on. Besides, it wasn’t her business anyway.

“What do you mean ‘What makes you think anything is going on?’ I saw what happened in OPS this morning. You can’t tell me that wasn’t anything.”

“ I have no idea what you’re talking about!’ Inside Jadzia’s head was a tiny voice screaming “ Denial! Denial!”

“ Oh come on Jadzia, you know you can’t pull that act with me.”

“Nerys,” Jadzia flashed one of her best smiles, “Listen, it was just a minor misunderstanding, nothing more. That’s all it was... Now if you’ll excuse me, I must return to my quarters.” And with that, Jadzia quickly walked to the turbolift leaving Kira standing in the middle of the promenade with a bunch of unanswered questions.

Stepping into the empty turbolift Jadzia breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that little episode was over. She said to herself, “ If that’s how I’m acting around Nerys think about how I’m going to act around Worf.” The turbolift doors opened and Jadzia made her way to her quarters, eager to get the day over with.

***

On the bridge of the Defiant, Worf played his favorite Klingon opera. He wanted to relax and forget about what had happened today. He just turned on the opera and collapsed into the captain’s chair. Worf’s eyes closed, his mind concentrated only on the music. After a few minutes, his mind started to drift. He started to contemplate about what had happened between him and Jadzia that morning. Did anyone notice? More importantly, did Jadzia think that it was just an accident? Worf couldn’t bring himself to talk to her for the remainder of the day. He was practically relieved when she didn’t show up for their evening workout. He had thought about contacting her but decided against it. He wouldn’t have known what to do if she showed up anyway.

Worf opened his eyes and turned the music off. He couldn’t relax at all that night so he decided to go straight to his quarters and sleep.

***

-A hand reached out to touch Jadzia’s face. She couldn’t tell who it was but she knew this person, this familiar face. She couldn’t see through the haze that surrounded her. He took a step closer. The warmth of his hand radiated onto Jadzia’s face. She closed her eyes, savoring every second of this intimate moment. It was only herself and him, the person who made her feel so complete. She slowly opened her eyes. A clear vision was standing straight in front of her, his eyes full of passion. After weeks of dreams, this mysterious person had finally revealed himself. “ Worf...”-

“ The time is 0600 hours,” that damned computer voice awoke Jadzia.

“Computer, lights on dim.” the lights came on and Jadzia let her eyes slowly flutter open. She was curled up in her favorite blanket, not wanting to get out. A smile formed on her face as she remembered her dream. Worf... He was so magnificent, so glorious. She remembered his touch, his face. She longed for it to become reality.

“Computer, lights on full.” She slowly crawled out of bed and prepared for the tedious day ahead.

***

- Worf opened his eyes, a pair of arms had just wrapped around him. His quarters were dark, it was still the middle of the night. The two lovers had fallen asleep in each other’s arms only hours ago. Worf remembered a tingling sensation when his lover’s hands wrapped around his body. There was something odd about this pair of hands, something different, they were...-

“ Dax to Commander Worf. Mr. Worf, please respond.”

Worf slowly sat up and reached for his communicator. “ Worf here.”

“Worf, where you? You were supposed to meet me in the replimat 15 minutes ago. We’re supposed to report for duty in 5 minutes.”

Worf realized that he had slept straight through his alarm, something he had never done before. “I will be there immediately. Worf out.” Worf climbed out of bed and dressed. His mind remained on the everlasting remnant of his dream... Those hands; those cold, chilling hands. It could only mean one thing... Jadzia.

***

The day passed slowly for Jadzia. She was swamped with work and worst of all, she couldn’t concentrate on any of it. Her mind just kept drifting off. She couldn’t believe it was him - Worf. Jadzia thought about asking Worf to dinner in her quarters. But, that thought left her mind as quickly as it entered. There was no way that stoic semi-anti-social Klingon would actually accept a date from her. No, it would be impossible.

***

Worf pushed through the crowd that had gathered at Quark’s; his bat’leth in hand. He didn’t feel like engaging in conversation or anything of the like. He just wanted to go straight to the holosuite to fight. He just needed to blow off some steam. It had been a rough day for him, not to mention the dream that constantly lingered in his mind. He reached the holosuite doors and entered, hoping that today’s battle would be the least bit satisfying.

***

Jadzia shoved though the door at Quark’s, holding her prized bat’leth close to her. Worf had given it to her a couple of months ago and she cherished it. It had been one of his very few attempts to reach out to anyone and she appreciated it very much. She walked up to the bar where Quark was already waiting for her.

“What can I do for you Commander?”

“I’m here for my holosuite reservation. I just want to get a glass of bloodwine before I begin.”

“ Is there anything else I can do for you?” Quark said in his usual Ferengi manner.

“Actually. I was wondering if you could tell me if you saw Worf come in.”

“I don’t think so... Why?”

“ Oh nothing...” and Jadzia left, leaving Quark with a puzzled look on his face. On one hand, Jadzia didn’t feel like interacting with Worf; for the moment anyway. She just felt so uncomfortable being around him, especially after the dreams she’s been having. On the other hand, she just wanted to take him in her arms and never let him go.

Jadzia reached the doors to the holosuite and entered. The doors opened to reveal a mid-fighting stance Worf ready to clobber his opponent. The swish of the doors had taken his attention away.

“Worf!” Jadzia was surprised to see him there. Not to mention, surprised by the slightly embarrassed look on his face.

“Commander... I did not expect you to come.”

“Listen, I’m sorry. I’ll leave if you want me to.” Jadzia was obviously very uncomfortable with the situation and Worf could see it.

“No, your presence here is welcome. I request that you join me in my exercises.”

At that, Worf’s face softened and Jadzia began to feel a bit more comfortable.

“Defend yourself!” Worf’s bat’leth swung through the air. Jadzia countered his move. They continued to fight with an intensity they have never had before. Their bat’leths flew all over the simulated cave, bodies were flung from one side of the holosuite to the other. Finally, Worf knocked Jadzia off her feet and ended the battle.

Slightly winded, Jadzia held out a hand for Worf to help her up with. Worf laid down his weapon and helped Jadzia to her feet. Jadzia looked up, only to catch Worf’s glance; his gaze more piercing than usual. Caught in the heat of the moment, the two officers moved their heads closer together until their lips were only a breath away. Then, realizing what was happening, they quickly stepped away from each other.

“Oh my God,” Jadzia stammered quickly as she pulled away, “Worf... I am SO sorry... Sorry... OK??? Excuse me...” Jadzia quickly picked up her bat’leth and ran out the holosuite doors. She didn’t stop until she reached her quarters. She entered, put her back to the wall and sunk to the floor.

“How stupid can I be?” Jadzia was extremely frustrated at herself, “ I’ve just ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Then, tears of frustration began to fall down her face.

***

Meanwhile, back in the holosuite, Worf watched the holosuite doors close behind Jadzia. What had just happened totally overwhelmed him. What HAD just happened? All Worf could remember was the look on her face, so full of love and expectation. The feelings between them had felt so genuine.

Worf laid his bat’leth down and paced the holosuite; his mind filled with unanswered questions. Could this be the beginning of something he’s always wanted? Or, could this be the end of everything? Was what he felt genuine? Moreover, did she feel he same way?

Worf picked up his bat’leth and ran the battle simulation again. He needed time to think.

***

For the rest of the night, Jadzia remained in her quarters. She replicated some dinner and ate it slowly. After dinner, Jadzia decided to take a nice long soak in the tub. She just needed to relax, to release all of the tension that has built up inside of her. Most importantly, she wanted to forget about the chain of events that have happened over the past few weeks. She stepped into the bathroom, stripped off her clothes, and slipped into the soothing, aromatic water. She closed her eyes and felt all of the stress flow out of her. She let the silence engulf her until all she could hear was the silent humming of the deck plates and she let the silence take her away...

- Jadzia opened her eyes. Their lips had just parted from a passionate kiss, their bodies still locked in an intimate embrace. “Worf, I...”

* FLASH!!!*

Hand in hand they walked down the corridor on their way to the Defiant. The couple stepped into the airlock and waited for it to close behind them. It was late and all of the work crews have already gone home for the night. It was just her and Worf. Then, Worf backed Jadzia into a wall and started kissing her, ravenously.

*FLASH!!!*

Jadzia crawled into bed next to a sleeping Worf. She turned to face him. She watched his immense body slowly heave up and down as he breathed. She cuddled next to him, wrapped her arms around his body, and closed her eyes. Then, a deep rumbling voice entered her ear, “I love you...” -

Jadzia’s eyes flew open. What the hell just happened? She lifted her foot from the water only to discover that it was as wrinkled as a prune. “Oh my God, computer, time!”

“ The time is 2600 hours.”

Jadzia had been in the tub for nearly an hour and a half. She quickly got out and wrapped a towel around her soaked body. “ This has NOT been a good day!” Jadzia then went into her room and prepared to sleep.

***

The day after, Worf spent his morning in the Defiant’s mess. He couldn’t bring himself to go down to the Replimat where Jadzia probably was. After their little encounter the other day, Worf was absolutely sure that things have changed between them. He wasn’t sure how to be around her anymore. How could he possibly work with her just meters away? His whole being wanted to give her all the love in the universe but his duty forced him to restrain his feelings.

Worf finished off the rest of his prune juice and left for OPS, not looking forward to a long day without Jadzia.

***

Jadzia ordered her usual cup of raktajino and sat at a corner of the replimat... Alone. She just sat there, occasionally taking a small sip from the coffee mug. Her mind was still on the night before. She was still upset at herself for letting her heart take over her mind. Worst of all, she was afraid that she might lose him. Who knows how he would’ve interpreted the other day. He might as well just brand her a grade-A lunatic.

“ Are you going to take a sip of the coffee or are you just going to stare at it?”

Surprised, Jadzia looked up, and saw Nerys pulling up a chair to her table. “Oh, hi.” Even Jadzia was surprised at how depressed she sounded.

“What’s the matter Dax? Anything wrong?”

‘It’s nothing.” Jadzia shrugged, her voice coming out as barely a whisper.

“Well, there’s obviously something bothering you.” Jadzia remained silent, “ Jadzia, listen, I know it’ll make you feel better if you talk about it.”

“That’s just it Nerys... I DON’T want to talk about it...”

***

Meanwhile, Worf decided to take a little detour from his way to OPS and stop by the replimat for a few minutes. He just needed to see if she was there. He NEEDED to see her. He arrived at the replimat and stopped in his tracks. She was there all right, but she looked really depressed. Major Kira had just sat next to her, probably trying to cheer her up.

“What have I done???” Worf said to himself. He quickly ordered a small prune juice and sat at the other end of the replimat.

***

“OK Jadzia, what ever you say.” Kira looked across the room just in time to see Worf sit at another table. “Oh look Jadzia, It’s Worf. I wonder why he’s sitting over there.”

“I don’t know.” As if Jadzia didn’t have a clue. Hopefully, Nerys wouldn’t call him over. The last thing she wanted to do was deal with him.

“Worf,” Nerys called across the replimat, “ Please, come and join us.”

Jadzia felt her stomach turn inside out. Jadzia’s mind went crazy. “How could she actually call him over! Oh God! He’s coming over! Time for me to make a quick getaway.” Jadzia’s inner voice finally stopped.

***

Worf stood up accepting the Major’s invitation. Maybe Jadzia rally DID want him to sit with her. He walked over to the table and saw Jadzia start to get up to leave.

***

Jadzia quickly pushed her chair back, nearly knocking it over. This was NOT the kind of encounter she was planning on. She had no intention of staying at the table a single second later.

“Jadzia?” Nerys’ inquisitive voice came up, “Where are you going?”

“I’m sorry,” Jadzia’s voice stuttered, searching for words. “ I really must be going now.” Jadzia bolted out of the Replimat and headed for the sanctuary of the turbolift.

Jadzia’s mind raced back and forth as the turbolift made its way to OPS. How could she make such a scene? She knew that she was just making things a whole lot worse. But, then why couldn’t she stop?

***

Worf stood in place next to the table where Jadzia was once seated. His head was turned to the turbolift in which Jadzia disappeared.

“Worf?”

“I apologize Major, I must be on my way.” Worf left the table and headed for another turbolift, leaving Nerys alone at the table wondering what the hell was going on.

Worf stepped into an empty turbolift and hit its wall as soon as the doors closed. “How could I scare Jadzia away? She is practically fearful of my presence!” Worf hit the turbolift wall again and stood in the middle of the box letting the anger slowly dissipate. He wasn’t mad at Jadzia, he was mad at himself. He couldn’t believe that he let such a magnificent woman slip from his grasp.

The turbolift doors opened and Worf walked into OPS making sure he wouldn’t run into Jadzia. He made it to his console without anything happening. Thank Kahless! Soon after, Worf heard voices emanating from the Captain’s office. He looked up to see an exasperated Dax pacing his office. “Wonderful,” Worf said to himself, “What have I done?”

***

Jadzia stormed into Benjamin’s office, not waiting for his permission to enter. She just felt like she needed to blow off some steam and Ben was going to be the recipient whether he liked it or not.

“ Anything wrong old man?” Benjamin asked with a bit of sarcasm.

“ Save it Benjamin. I don’t need to hear it.”

Sisko heard how genuinely upset Dax was, “Uh, oh. OK Old Man, sit down and tell me all about it.”

“No Benjamin, If I sit down, I know I’m going to start again.”

“ Start what again?”

“ Crying Benjamin... Start crying again!” Jadzia’s voice raised a couple of decibels.

“OK Old man. Just calm down. Now, tell me what happened.”

Jadzia didn’t want Sisko knowing that it was Worf bothering her all along so she tried to keep it as anonymous as possible. Jadzia continued to pace Sisko’s office back and forth. “Don’t ask me that question Benjamin. To tell you the truth, I have no clue what happened. Not even an inkling! All I know is that my life has never been so screwed up.”

“Jadzia, you still haven’t answered my question.” Sisko tried to keep his voice as soothing as possible.

“ I know, I know Ben. It’s just that, I feel like I’m losing something that’s really special to me. Ben, it’s slipping from my grasp.”

“And what is this special something?”

“It’s who, Ben. It’s a who.”

“ All right, then WHO is it?” Jadzia remained silent as she sat on the couch across the office. Sisko stood up from his desk and sat next to Dax, putting his arm around her. He saw the look on her face and knew that tears were close. “Hey...” Jadzia laid her head on Sisko’s shoulder, slowly letting the tears fall, “ Come on Jadzia. You know as well as I do that talking helps.”

After a long pause, Dax whispered, “Worf.”

“Hmmm?”

“Worf, Ben... It’s Worf.”

“Mr. Worf.” Sisko was totally confused.

“Yeah.”

“What has he done? Has he compromised your performance in any way? Offended you? Done something to dishonor you?”

“ That’s the confusing part. He hasn’t but at the same time he has.”

“OK Old Man, now you’re not making any sense.”

“ I know that Benjamin. Nothing makes sense to me anymore.”

“Well, what happened?”

“ Nothing serious. I guess that it’s just a case of...” Jadzia’s voice trailed off. She wasn’t really sure if Ben was ready to hear this. Hell, she wasn’t sure if SHE was ready to hear it.

“ A case of what?”

“A broken heart.”

“A broken heart? Dax, I wasn’t aware that you and Mr. Worf were seeing each other.”

“We weren’t.”

“Then why?”

“It’s just that I’ve been having these dreams for the past few weeks.”

“And?”

“Well, they’d always be about Worf. Although, I didn’t know that most of the time. For some reason we started getting a little uncomfortable around each other. I don’t know why. Then last night I ran into him in the holosuite. We fought well but after that I...” Jadzia’s voice trailed off again, she wasn’t sure how to say what happened next.

“What happened Dax?”

“We... I mean I... I mean we..” Jadzia gave up, “Oh to hell with it, we almost kissed.”

“Kissed? Mr. Worf? Are you sure that man in the holosuite was OUR Mr. Worf?”

“The one and only.”

“What happened?”

“ I guess you can say that we were caught in the heat of the moment.”

“I still can’t see what the big problem is.”

Jadzia took a deep breath, preparing herself to say one of the most revelatory things she has ever had to say, “ Ben, I think I’m falling in love with him.”

“I see.”

“And it doesn’t help that we’re avoiding each other. The comfort level between the two of us has taken such a severe drop. I just can’t figure out why.”

“Well, a part of it may be the fact that you are having those dreams.”

“I know that Benjamin! It’s just that, I don’t understand why HE is uncomfortable around me.”

“ I see your point.”

“What should I do Ben?”

“ Why don’t you just try talking to him. I’m sure he’s just as puzzled about the situation as you are.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Dax, look at me. Promise me that you will talk to him before the day is over.”

Jadzia turned to face Sisko, “All right, Benjamin, I promise.” Jadzia flashed him a smile. “Thanks.”

“Hey, no problem Old Man.” Sisko hugged Jadzia, “ You know that my door is always open, even if you storm in uninvited.” Sisko smiled and watched as Jadzia walked out to her station, into the same room as Worf.

Jadzia hadn’t felt better in days. She stepped up to the science console and started uploading some data. Her little talk with Sisko actually made her feel A LOT better. Jadzia made a promise to herself that she was going to talk to Worf today, no matter what.

***

Worf watched as Jadzia stepped down from the Captain’s office. She looked a lot better than she did when he saw her earlier in the replimat. He was happy that she at least LOOKED like she was feeling better.

Worf made a promise to himself to talk to her before the day was over. He felt that it was his obligation to set things right again.


Go on to Part 2